We are women who work from home. We rely on an empty house and organised workspaces to ensure on-time delivery on projects. However, working from home has become virtually impossible for gig-working homemakers like us during the coronavirus lock-down.
On a normal working day, the house gets empty with spouses leaving for work and children for school. The house help would facilitate the cleaning, cooking and laundry while we typed away (un)gloriously on the computer — conducting online research, designing graphics, writing blogs or creating e-learning material. Many other things helped us save time — support from housemaids, extracurricular activities and online shopping. This was precious time that we then spent on interacting with clients, developing new projects and delivering on commitments in a timely manner.
Now, during the lockdown, many freelancers have been bamboozled by the onslaught on demands by house-occupants, “the house perpetually looks as though it’s been hit by a storm... and the kitchen never closes ...phewww”! The situation can get complicated and at times be frustrating for freelancers like us who are working-from-home. However, fear not, help is at hand!
There are various things we end up juggling, however, to simplify and “make sense” of the chaos, it may be useful to consider four different life areas — the self, the work, the household and the children. We are sharing some of our experience and learnings about these areas. We would encourage you to experiment with these tips one-at-a-time, based on your comfort level, work commitments and flexibility in relationships.
1. I, Me and Myself
We are all unique and manage uncertainty differently and the current lockdown may lower our energy and motivation levels. Identify the motivators and de-stressors, treat this as a phase and take a break from the usual routine. Give yourself room to think and plan your time. It takes time to come to terms with a new situation. Try and see this as the possibility of coming out stronger and understanding the ultimate advantage of working as a team instead of a lone ranger.
Health first, always
Focus on keeping yourself and others around you healthy. Along with social-distancing, distance yourself from the “emotional storm”. Find ways to remain calm, actively manage your stress levels and get plenty of good quality sleep. Your immune system will thank you!
Simple exercises like deep breathing or pranayama can take you a long way. Don’t forget to tell yourself “I promise, we will get through this”, this self-affirmation or autosuggestion several times a day helps reinstate your self-belief. Self-reflection, mindfulness and meditation are some other ways you could choose to relax and centre your focus.
Small pleasures
To get through the tedious and mundane tasks — make things interesting by multi-tasking — listen to old songs, watch a favourite drama or listen to an audiobook while cleaning or washing, dance to your favourite song from college etc, and just take pleasure in the smallest of things to liven up your mood.
Each (woe)man is an Island
Define boundaries and communicate openly in case something is affecting you. Instead of screaming and shouting, use the weekly (or daily ) planning time to address these issues. Share your feelings and seek solutions. Define boundaries for self and others in your home. Everyone matters — your work, professional commitments of your spouse and meeting your children’s demands.
Desk time
“Desk Time” is the sacrosanct blocks of 30, 45 or 60 minutes where one can be in a secluded space to get work done. There should be no room for disruptions — from people at home or people on the phone (including all forms of social media). More importantly, ensure that your mind is active and ready to perform at peak productivity in these two to four slots during the day. You may prefer to wake up earlier than everyone else or sync work-time with your child’s productive screen time.
2. A Time and Space to Work
A workspace is both mental and physical. That is why many people working-from-home find social isolation difficult. Ensure that you have an organised workspace and that you interact regularly with your work colleagues via video calling (Zoom/Skype/Google hangout etc). Remember that you are at an advantage — you are an experienced hand whereas many full-time workers are just now discovering the joys (and pains) of teleworking.
Buddy-up with your partner
Your partner may be a full-time worker or a gig-worker like you. Respect each other’s work commitments by aligning schedules and calculate possible “Desk Time”. It is important that both are able to not only meet one’s own workload for the day but also enable the other to complete their goals. Partners often disagree on parenting styles, household upkeep or financial goals. Look for ways to seek common ground and put “health and happiness” first.
Plan and prioritise together
As a gig worker, we always have a long list of to-dos especially with research and new projects. While all the items on the list are important, breaking the lists down to weekly and daily to-do (please don’t start humming Pink Panther’s theme song now!) is a great way to achieve more and feel accomplished.
While your personal list is important, planning with your partner and at the family level becomes critical. Pick the time in the week that works best for you and are good for weekly plans — what to do during the week and on the weekend (no work). Create and display a colourful family timetable. Keep plans as close to normal/ achievable as possible. Dinner table discussions can include a schedule for the next day.
Invest in yourself
Find ways to remain connected with the working environment even if some projects are cancelled or delayed. Talk to your customers and anticipate new demands due to the changing business landscape. Use your “Desk Time” to invest in your own learning, to attend webinars and to connect/expand your business network.
3. Household; A Factory
Running a household is both an art and a science. There are peak and off-peak demands from a diverse group. A family is a team and like any good team, open communication is the key. Discuss openly how the chaos at home is affecting everyone — including you. Rather than feeling marginalised, screaming or making caustic remarks — have a team huddle — Share your feelings and figure out together how everyone can contribute in the housework.
Talk team. Talk tasks
Together, create a list of tasks that need to be done daily, weekly and now possibly monthly. Split tasks based on the age of the children while keeping the heavy ones between your spouse and yourself. When communicating, rather than thinking in terms of chores, talk about “Tasks” and responsibility — children especially like to feel a sense of accomplishment after they complete the work given. From the start, differentiate “housework” from “mommy work”. Don't forget to reward them for every task completed; we all seek approvals.
Dirty house rules
While it’s not going to be easy to do so with each spot in your house screaming for attention. Just accept that the house might look like this for the next couple of weeks, and you shouldn’t worry too much about it. If some areas are a trigger for you (wet towels or dirty shoes on the carpet) then note it down and talk about it. Of course, “Stop Work” if others are not listening.
Eat. Clean. Repeat
Food, laundry and cleaning are the three activity-groups that take the maximum time in the household. Set realistic expectations about “quality of life” (restaurant meals or gleaming surfaces around the house) and plan weekly meals/groceries to reduce time and effort. If possible, use handy gadgets like washing machines, dishwashers and the long mop that makes tasks less physically demanding. Engage the children in fireless cooking and setting up/cleaning the table to ease up your burden. Avoid eating at your workstation — use mealtimes to bond.
4. Engage the children
Many working parents will find it difficult to engage with the children. Do not let children feel the brunt of your frustration. Children have their own plans and demands. Discipline will only go that far with cooped up children. The rule is simple — Happy parents make happy children so when the children are gainfully occupied — then you or your spouse can get to work.
Understand that this time shall not come back, make the most of it and use the time to enjoy your children. Spend quality time with them. Snooze a little extra with them in bed and just enjoy them.
Screen time or scream time
For older children, it can be a toss-up between screen time and scream time. Now with many schools also offering online content, the screen time will easily double (we as Indians are consuming 280 mins a day). Have an open conversation about new guidelines for “productive and interactive” screen time. Where possible, look for social or educational interactions through the screen — as excessive passive viewing can be harmful.
Children’s choice
Allocate a time every day possibly an hour post-lunch where the children get to choose an activity that they like to do. The Empowered Decision making can energise the children like a breath of fresh air. Let them build that Lego house, draw, or build the train tracks that run all through the living room. Ignore the mess for now and focus on your work. It’s a “productive hour” for you. A clean up with the children is mandatory after this session. Try one of the Çlean up songs on youtube to assist the process. It works like magic.
Get creative
Once or twice a week based on your schedule, introduce your children to a hobby that you used to pursue as a child. The advantage is that it makes you feel good about passing on a legacy while doing something that makes you happy. You could also use this time to do your long-pending tasks like photo albums, recycling and upcycling things around the house or embroidery.
Connect with family
While being stuck at home understand that your extended family — cousins, aunts/uncles and especially grandparents may be feeling confined and isolated. Let the children connect with the extended family —from simple conversations to doing activities together — reading a book or talking about their day. The virtual babysitting adds to your productive time. And remember to return the favour!
A family that exercises together, stays together
Use the internet, to access a plethora of activities like Zumba, Children’s yoga etc. Be prepared that it might not be a success the first time around but stick to a schedule, as repetition and consistency will bring results.
Exception for little one’s
In case you have a little one under 3 years of age; time and finances allow you to consider taking a break or reducing your working hours. Eating, sleeping and healthy activities are a must, while work can happen during their nap times.
As COVID 19 threatens our space and existence, we as mothers and homemakers are emotional anchors of our family. We all have an important responsibility in keeping our home environment safe, secure and a fun place for our families to grow and prosper (even at such times). We might struggle to define our new normal and adapt to the new routines, we must not forget ´that this too shall pass´ and together we can innovate, create or revisit new or old ways of doing things to come our wiser and stronger from this lock down.
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