How easy it is to love Shah Rukh Khan!

My very rational dad looked at me questioningly when I made him watch Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (or DDLJ as it is popularly known) on DVD.  He could not believe that the film has had a run longer in Maratha Mandir than Sholay ever did. ‘How can you fall in love with someone who boasts of low grades at college?’ He’s clearly Amrish Puri of the film, muttering curses at young men of today.

I am as stumped as Shah Rukh’s Shanker from Koyla. How do you explain that there lurks a girl inside my grown-up heart who wishes to be flirted with and be called, ‘Senorita!’

Shah Rukh the phenomenon first showed up in the Doordarshan TV series called Fauji. The show had only 13 episodes but it gave Bollywood a new star. Unfortunately, he showed up on the big screen during the worst period of fashion. Extra wide collars on double-breasted suits, gigantic shoulder pads, high waisted baggy trousers with double pleats as in Yes Boss and Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman (whoever thought shirtless suit jacket was a good idea then was just preempting the ghastly current trend of men wearing a jacket with sliders).

There were movies where he sported absolutely terrible hair: Asoka, Chaahat, Duplicate, Yes Boss, Ram Jaane, Dil Se and yes, Koyla. Shah Rukh wore really cheesy jewelry and made it ‘cool’. The jewelry in Asoka is decidedly weird, but if you can look seductively at a lass and dance on a barge with a row of terrifyingly toothy elephants standing behind you, then you must be some kind of awesome. And a voice inside me when I’m watching Sooraj Hua Maddham for the nth time wants to hug Karan Johar for making him wear those transparent shirts.

No one else can handle those transparent shirts in Bollywood. He’s the winner of the wet tee shirt contest in the movies even when it’s not raining. It’s what makes women in the theatre swoon or imagine he’s opening his arms for them to run into, age no bar.

There’s more, of course. No one, not a single star today can wear a dhoti like him. Devdas has its own storytelling troubles for these times, but that dhoti-clad look makes you want to be the bottle he’s hugging. The scene in Swades where she’s (Gayatri Joshi) helping him wear the dhoti, is like sex on toast. And if you want to kneel… and be a mensch, then take lessons from Chak De! India. His insult in the film becomes your insult and his win becomes your heart-wrenching win. You know what he means by the '70 minute' speech even if you have never held a hockey stick in your hands. And if you wear a pagdi, be the Paheli wallah Shah Rukh.

He’s the only star who dared to take on the role of the anti-hero in Baazigar, made stuttering and stalking scary cool in Darr. I loved his urban cool in Kal Ho Na Ho, Mohabbatein, My Name Is Khan (he’s something else, innit?), Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham and Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna. His thoughtful, laconic Mohan Bhargav is matchless, even though people will tell you he’s only Dard-e-disco. But is there anyone else who picks up the phone and says with hundred percent earnestness, ‘Punjab Power, lighting up your life. Surinder Suri this side?’

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi showed me how to fall in love with Suri ji and at the same time be totally, irrationally attracted to the pani-puri eating Raj.

He saves his girl in Pardes and joins Sridevi’s Army for revenge. He plays Don as well as Fan. And in real life, he makes a normally never starstruck person like yours truly send a radio valentine to him. ‘Thou Wow!’ I said on the radio and won a chance to meet him. Erm… He smells great in person. And when he hugged me at the launch of Filmfare cover, I knew no matter how many Dilwale, Chennai Express, Harry Met Sejal he makes, he will always make his fans feel like they’re having a Happy New Year.

A friend even traveled to Goa after the release Dear Zindagi with the hope she’d find a shrink like him. There are those who swear by, ‘Itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai ki har zarre ne mujhe tumse milane ki saazish ki hai!’ and others buy a single anklet and hold it up pretending they’re Veer Pratap Singh from Veer Zara.

Wait, I haven’t even gone near his dimples. Those need a deep dive on their own. They make his smile extra special. As Kajol says in the movie, ‘Kuch kuch hota hai, tum nahi samjhoge…’