To question is to think. To think is to introspect. To introspect is to seek. To seek is to be aware. To be aware is when the journey begins.
Co-founders quarrelling and bickering is not just what current startups have. It’s a historically old issue.
Put two or more humans together, and there would be differences. Unless those differences are sorted in a manner that’s fair to all, it becomes a larger, worrisome issue. Almost every startup's founder has this experience.
The biggest difference between normal business leaders’ conflict and co-founders’ conflict is this: startups consume so much of founders’ energies, passion and emotions. This attachment also creates sense of deep ownership around the venture and ideas that they have and defend, almost violently.
A healthy debate around differences is good for growth of the venture and for allowing ideas to be shared without fear of reprimand. Yet many ventures end up in bad blood.
Many a time, it is simple ego that hurts the venture. Until there is success in the platform, no one bothers about differences. Too much of success, beyond anticipated levels or too little success brings out the worst in many individuals. As they say, “success covers up many sins".
Trust, the only solution
Co-founders should be able to trust each other. They should be able to share their differences well. Co-founders have to know one another’s motivation well and yet have common Value system.
Questions that they could ask regularly:
What’s the motivation to run this venture?
Is it wealth or more wealth?
Is it social standing?
Is it media recognition and new-found industry status?
Is it to change the world?
Are you on the right path?
What is missing in your life now ?
Successful startups founders are generally not afraid to confront, ask or to embrace conflicts. They are open to discussions and debates about how the business should be run. Yet, they know when to close those arguments, at times by agreeing with the domain expertise of their co-founder. Practically astute founders have an open mind in hearing views around the room, and yet give weightage to domain expertise and data.
Conflict resolution ideas
1. Don’t take any difference personally. After all, put yourself in their shoes to understand their view point.
2. You have your co-founders and other leaders simply for their domain expertise and competency. By shunning them or those expertise, you are doing yourself a disservice.
3. Once a decision is made, bury your differences. Do not argue about the other options left on the table. Do not ever say, “I told you so!”
4. Never let a difference of opinion hang dry or loose. Sit down with the individuals concerned and openly talk about those differences. Sooner you close the gap, better the differences due down. Else it would become a large scale conflict someday.
5. When discussing differences, you have to behave as just another individual and not behave as the founder. Never, ever, throw your weight around as the founder.
6. Keep in mind that the entire objective of resolving a difference is for the larger organisational benefit. Without the venture, who are you?
External advice
If the differences or conflict has become so cold that you need help, do not hesitate to bring in professional help. Trying to get your board members or private investors to solve your problems is a conflicting idea. They have different roles to achieve. The director will want to take care of shareholder rights, while private investors want to maximise investment outcomes.
If you are bringing in someone who is trusted by all parties concerned or someone who is a paid professional adviser (without any other vested interest in the outcome of this conflict), then open up about your conflict. This is where successful founders have used coaches/mentors to resolve their issues, quickly and discretely.
Conflicts can become such negative emotion that it drains your energy to run the venture. After all, as a founder, it is the health of your venture that’s critical. Just put aside your ego aside, if it comes to conflict resolution.
– The author, Srinath Sridharan is a Corporate Adviser and Independent Markets Commentator. For other articles in the Coach Soch series, click here. 
